In the End- Johnny Vas
There is a part of me that never wants to leave you, which
wants me to love you as much as I can. There is a voice inside me that hinders
me from caring about you thinking that you may not be forever. Inside me there
is a struggle that moves back and forth asking me questions about you. Your
love makes me warm and freeze at once and puzzles me from loving you back. I
tried to ignore and I couldn’t do it. I absconded for a while thinking that
things will be alright without you. Your presence brings me joy, your feelings
makes me think. You make me fragile and exposed.
Deep inside me there
is a fear of losing you. You came too close to my heart and it’s too much to
handle. It shivers me like the chills of a morning winter and blocks my brain
cold. I am naïve to feelings and emotions and I don’t connect well with them. I
feel its better I stay away from such feelings rather suffer in pain. I’m just
trying to shield your love and care that penetrates into me. I can’t take a stab into my heart again. Because
it pains a lot worse when you pull a sword back from a pierced heart.
I wanted my world to
be joyful and I’m selfish that I use people around me to entertain me and my
life is nothing without them. I want the vicinity to be perky and I find a self
satisfaction to have those moments. I love, I care and more than all I respect you
for the person that you are. I want you to be happy. I want you to be special
as the way you are. I’ll always cherish the times I spent with you and I want
you to feel the same.
Every journey has an end, but I’ll be glad to have you as
long as I travel and I’ll travel along as long as you want me to. I never
wanted you to leave me but you are free to go. After all I am the one who walks
the grave all alone. And when the time comes, I shall not see you leaving in
tears. I shall see a glow in your face, a smile on your lips and your eyes
looking at me which says “Good bye! Dear. I had a good time”. --- END ---
To
Pamela Galluzzo
Heartily
Johnny Vas
