Change
- Johnny vas
In the recent days. I've been questioning a lot about me,
analyzing the changes that happened to me. Filtering impurities out of my attitude.
Trying to be a better person. This is a period of transition in my life. I
finally have to clear this complex clouds around me. I think I lost myself
somewhere in the way of exploiting knowledge. I think it is time to see
everything in a simple way. Understanding emotions and feelings of people. I
was not raised among people to feel all these before, but I still feel I have a
chance. All these days I spent time in understanding things in life. I think it
is time I have to stop understanding and start feeling them. I can't discard
connections like "Buddha" But I needed the time to not to goof up my
life anymore because there are people that are linked to it. Now that more
people are liking me, caring me I felt a fear that asks why do I deserve these
people's attention? What do they see in me? Do I really deserve this much of
care n love?
Slowly I've realized that I am not completely honest to
anyone, not even to myself. So, I felt the need to correct me. All this time I
thought giving hope and love selflessly makes me good, but now I'm ready to be
a normal person like the rest. I want to be loved, cared and expressed. Through this course I've caused pain to all
those lovely people around me. I made them cry, I made them suffer and I made them
hate me. They don't deserve such
treatment, not from me not from anyone. I don't want to sit back and grieve
about it coz I can’t alter the past. But I’ll never forget what I did to them. I wish I could take all back, redeem all those moments of love. I broke some promises and I have to make amends. I’ll
make sure this never happens again. I’ll make sure no one suffers again.
Through my life, I failed to realize some changes that occurred
to me. They have spread like a cancer within me. They made me selfish, arrogant,
judgmental and utterly foolish. By the time I realized, the damage has done. Now
I have to reset my life in fact upgrade it. Hopefully, once I complete this transition,
I will come out as a beautiful soul.
Changes are natural in life. Some happens for good, some
turns bad. They might occur at any time in our life. Some have to be embraced
and some have to be eliminated. We should be vigilant coz once they occur, we
will not be the same person by the time we spot them.
--- END ---
To
The people who still care about me
Your’s Truly
Vas
